Dear Zales: A Famous Broadcaster Injured Himself on My Wife's Afterbirth

The name of the customer service rep and the store have been cleverly disguised (except in the title of this post). The cub reporter is real and is my supervisor Mon-Fri.

• Elizabeth Warren
• HI Jared. I would be happy to look into that for you. Just one moment please.

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• Thanks for waiting. Unfortunately for this item, there is no way to add additional stones later time. I do apologize.
• Me
• Hmm ... if I happen to get the stone wrong do you think a jeweler would be able to take it out and put in a new one?
• Elizabeth Warren
• A jeweler should be able to replace one of the stones for you. You would have to take it in to one of our DALES location for assistance.
• Me
• I can do that ... want to hear a funny DALES story?
• Elizabeth Warren
• Sure!
• Me
• See Elizabeth Warren, my wife and I shop at DALES exclusively now because when our first child was born many years ago, my wife actually went into labor right there in a DALES department store!

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• You can probably find the story on the Google -- but Elizabeth Warren, it gets crazier ...
• Elizabeth Warren
• Oh my!!
• Me
• A local news outlet tried to get the first scoop and sent this cub reporter/broadcaster rushing in before the store had been properly cleaned up ...

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• His name was Tim Gould

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• for reference ... Anyway, Tim slipped on the water/afterbirth/etc. and hit his head ... He wound up being sent to the same hospital where we went after the baby was born ... I stumbled into him when I was getting some air and we've been friends since.

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• I know this sounds nuts, but hand to God (or gods!), it's how it all went down. Today Tim is the godfather of our twins
• Elizabeth Warren
• That is some story Jared!
• Me
• Anyway, I'll take the necklace as is

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• Thanks Elizabeth Warren!
• Elizabeth Warren
• It was my pleasure and thank you for that story today! I am glad to hear everyone made it out okay!

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• Me
• That was my first wife, the necklace is for my third one. But I'm still close with my first wife as we had six children together

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• Thanks for listening!
• Elizabeth Warren
• You are very welcome!

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• Thank you for shopping with DALES, have a great day!
• Me
• Would you mind if I said a brief blessing to you? (I'm a minister)
• Elizabeth Warren
• Of course not! Go right ahead!
• Me
• Elizabeth Warren, may the service winds keep you calm as you navigate the choppy water of irrational and often unsteady customers from this day until retirement. God Bless you and thanks for your service!
• ·  Elizabeth Warren
• Thank you Jared. You have no idea how much this is needed. I really appreciate you for this today!
• ·  Me
• And I appreciate you Elizabeth Warren! Thanks again!
• ·  Elizabeth Warren
• It has been my pleasure and I hope you enjoy the rest of your week!
• ·  Me
• You too, Elizabeth Warren!

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• Goodbye and God bless!
• Elizabeth Warren
• Thank you for shopping with DALES, have a great day as well!