You're donating what to the homeless!?

If you've been reading this blog, you know I have a penchant for sending ridiculous letters, requests and event proposals to a variety of organizations, such as the Pennsylvania Turnpike, the Upper Darby Library and the Westboro Baptist Church.

Well, recently, when I was going through my records (i.e., wasting time at work looking through a folder on my desktop titled "Random Shit"), when I came across something I meant to post on Craigslist -- but never actually got around to doing. Probably a good thing, but just for yourself:

HH Foundation -- Donations, Volunteers Needed

What do clothing, food, shelter and hangers all have in common? If you said all of these are things the majority of homeless people are lacking, well, my friend, you’ve hit the nail on the head. And with all the resources in this beautiful country of ours, don’t you think that is absurd? Don’t you think all people should have enough food to eat? Don’t you think everyone should have a warm roof over their heads? Well, so do I, but that’s not what this request is about. 

There are plenty of charitable organizations out there dedicated to the providing food, clothing and shelter to the homeless, but we’re not one of them. Nope. That’s just not our bag. Sure, those organizations serve a key purpose in society, but some are also very short-sighted. Think about it. While it’s nice to give away your old wardrobe to a homeless man or woman who really needs it, what are they going to do with that Old Navy sweater or Lane Bryant blouse when they’re not wearing it? Shove it in a shopping cart? A trash bag?  Then, the next time they go to put it on, it’s so bunched up and wrinkled, they end up looking, well … homeless. That’s where the Hangers for the Homeless (HH) Foundation comes in. Our motto: “Just because you’re homeless, it doesn’t mean you should have to look like a slob.” 

That’s why we’re asking everyone fortunate enough to own a surplus of coat hangers (we also accept lint brushes and dewrinkle spray) to donate their extras to the HH Foundation – the first charitable organization in the U.S. dedicated solely to providing the less fortunate with devices to keep their wardrobes wrinkle-free. What if you don’t have a single hanger to spare? No worries, come out for the HH Foundation’s first “Homeless Hang,” an event where like-minded philanthropists go around Philadelphia passing out hangers, on Fri., Feb. 27, from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.

Please respond to this post with the subject line “HH Foundation” if you are interested in donating or participating in the “Hang.” SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY.