Valium Vickie

Friday, September 16, 2005

I haven't shaved since Monday. That doesn't sound like much, but I'm Italian. Two more days and I may even be able to pass as homeless and make a few bucks passing the change cup around. I'm constantly amazed by how much facial hair can change a guy (or gal). Somebody can fast, and go three nights without sleep and it'll completely transform that person. People will see that person and say, "Man, you look like shit", but the funny thing is I can get that same reaction just by not shaving for a few days. I like to grow a beard every now and then just to make it look like I've been through hell. Being unshaven leads people to make certain assumptions-Is that guy an alcoholic or just a dirty hippy? Did that guy just get laid off or does he just not give a fuck? Not shaving is the universal symbol of not caring about anything starting with your own personal appearance. In the movies, when a guy gets dumped, it always flashes to a few days later and that guy has dark, bristly stubble all over his miserable looking face and he's surrounded by cartons of half-eaten Chinese food. And the same thing goes for work. When a character loses his job, Hollywood always shows the guy sitting at bar or stumbling around in a bathrobe with a nice five o'clock shadow printed on his face.