Valium Vickie

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Transcript of my chat with a Capital One Rep

Capital One is always asking, "What's in your wallet?" Of course, the answer they're looking for is:  "A nearly maxed-out Capital One card with a criminally high interest rate. Thanks you guys!" A question you'll never hear from the Financial Giant is, "What's in your mailbox?" That would be silly because the Virginia-based company with a 2013 annual revenue of $22.4 billion and the most complaints of any credit card issuer between 2011 and 2013 already knows the answer to that question. Lots and lots of unsolicited offers from Capital One are in my mailbox.

That company must spend more than $100 in postage each year on me alone -- and I'm already a customer! I have a Capital One card in my wallet; it's been in there since 2005. And I don't even have any complaints about the card or the service. The mailings are another story. That's why I contacted the company recently. What follows is the conversation I had with a very helpful rep.

Note: Based on my completely arbitrary policy, I've changed the rep's name and rated my chat experience highly via the survey given at the end of the conversation. Also, I left the time stamp to show everybody just how long this thing actually took.

The Introduction


Secure Chat in progress
Welcome to our Capital One secure chat service! This chat will be monitored and recorded.
 Hi, this is Rondo. Whom do I have the pleasure of chatting with today?

You
12:49 PM
Hi Rondo, this is Jared Bilski
Rondo
12:50 PM
Hello Jared! 
Rondo
12:50 PM
How may I assist you today?
You
12:50 PM
Well, I'm a bit nervous about something
Rondo
12:51 PM
Please go ahead with your questions, I'd be happy to help you today. 
You
12:51 PM
OK, I'll try to keep this short ....
You
12:52 PM
I'm an amateur Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter, and recently I suffered a fairly traumatic head injury
You
12:52 PM
As a result, I've been doing things that I'm not accustomed to doing and I can't explain why
You
12:53 PM
Are you with me so far, Rondo?
Rondo
12:53 PM
I'm sorry to hear that. 
You
12:53 PM
Part of the job, my friend.
You
12:54 PM
No reason to feel sorry ... I never feel more alive than when I've in that cage ..
Rondo
12:54 PM
Okay.

The problem


You
12:54 PM
Anyway, here's where Capital One comes in ...
You
12:55 PM
Recently, I received a letter from Capital One, and on the envelope it said "The information you requested is enclosed."
Oliver
12:55 PM
OKay.
You
12:56 PM
When I opened the envelope, there was a letter letting me know about my Quicksilver credit card with a number to activate it
Rondo
12:57 PM
Okay.
Rondo
12:57 PM
Are you with me so far, Rondo?
Rondo
12:57 PM
Yes, I'm with you.
Rondo
12:58 PM
Just to clarify, have you applied for a new Quicksilver card online? 
You
12:58 PM
So, after receiving the letter, I start freaking out .. I'm 99% certain I never requested a credit card from you
Rondo
12:59 PM
Thank you for clarifying that for me.
You
12:59 PM
That's the thing, Rondo. I never did nor do I have any online record of doing so ...
Rondo
12:59 PM
Let me quickly access your account and check that for you. 
Rondo
12:59 PM
Please verify the following information to access your account: name (exactly as it appears on your credit card), zip code, date of birth and last four digits of your Social Security Number.
You
12:59 PM
Sure thing, Rondo.

Note: I removed the part where I give out the highly sensitive personal info -- like my zip code ...

You
01:00 PM
Do you think you can help me, Rondo?
Rondo
01:00 PM
Could you please provide me with the last 4-digits of your account number?
Rondo
01:00 PM
Let me check what best can be done to help you.
You
01:00 PM
Oh ... you mean of my capital one account
Rondo
01:01 PM
Yes, that's correct. 

And this part with the account number.

Rondo
01:01 PM
Thank you for verifying that information. Bear with me for just a moment while I review the account.
You
01:02 PM
I will check on my CAT-Scan results
Rondo
01:03 PM
I appreciate your patience, Jared.
You
01:03 PM
And me your help, Rondo.
You
01:04 PM
Rondo, this may sound strange, but I'm in therapy ...
You
01:05 PM
And my therapist said that, to help me in tense moments, it may help to refer to people by a name I feel comfortable with
Rondo
01:05 PM
After reviewing your account, I'm glad to see that Capital One upgraded your non reward card to Capital One Quicksilver card.
You
01:05 PM
Would you mind if I call you Reginald for the duration of this conversation
You
01:05 PM
?
You
01:05 PM
That was my grandfathers name
Rondo
01:05 PM
Sure! Go ahead.
You
01:06 PM
Thank you, I know it's strange, but it helps
Rondo
01:07 PM
Now you can go ahead and earn rewards of 1.5% on your net purchases.
You
01:07 PM
I have crippling anxiety most days
Rondo
01:07 PM
I do confirm you that there is no cap for earning rewards on this card.
You
01:08 PM
OK, now I'm really confused, Reginald. So I did request the new credit card? And that letter was a result of my actions
You
01:08 PM
There's no record, so I must've called you guys in a fugue state following my head injury
Rondo
01:08 PM
No, your existing card was upgraded to Quicksilver card due to which you have received a  new card in the mail. 
You
01:08 PM
But that's highly unlikely because I'm generally terrified of talking on the phone
You
01:09 PM
Why was it upgraded?
Rondo
01:09 PM
I do confirm that upgrading your account will not impact on your credit scores.
You
01:10 PM
OK, bear with a moment, Reginald. First things first. You're telling me that the upgrade has nothing to do with my actions, correct?
Rondo
01:10 PM
Yes, that's correct. 
Rondo
01:10 PM
This upgraded was from Capital One.
You
01:11 PM
When then why did the letter say "The Information you requested is enclosed."
You
01:11 PM
?
Rondo
01:12 PM
I'm sorry, the each letter you will receive in the mail will be written same on a letter.
You
01:12 PM
I meant, "Well, then why ..." Sorry, my hands are trembling
You
01:13 PM
I'm sorry I didn't quite understand that last comment, Reginald
Rondo
01:13 PM
Let me clarify that for you. 
You
01:13 PM
I'd appreciate that!
Rondo
01:15 PM
The information you have received in the mail is only a general disclosure sent to all customers whose cards are reviewed and upgraded.
You
01:16 PM
Ah, no I get it. So in other words, the "you" in "The Information you request is enclosed," wasn't specific to me, was it Reginald?
Rondo
01:17 PM
Yes, you are right.
You
01:17 PM
In fact, the "you" meant everybody and it was part of a mass communication effort
Rondo
01:17 PM
Yes, that is correct.
You
01:17 PM
Hmmm ... well, can I offer one small criticism
You
01:18 PM
It is only meant to be constructive in nature, Reginald
Rondo
01:19 PM
I understand.
You
01:19 PM
Shall I speak freely then?
Rondo
01:20 PM
Please go ahead if you have any comment regarding this proactive upgrade.
You
01:21 PM
Here is my only point of contention: When I receive a letter specifically stating, "the information you requested is enclosed," I always believe the company is being 100% honest with me ...
You
01:22 PM
Therefore, I was under the impression that I was the one who contacted your company ...
You
01:23 PM
And that I requested a new credit card. Do you see what I'm saying?
Rondo
01:23 PM
I completely understand the point you are making in this regard.
You
01:24 PM
And based on the head injury, I was worried that I'd opened a number of credit cards in a fugue state, and this fear cause me great anxiety and led to added therapy sessions
Rondo
01:25 PM
As per the terms of the Credit Card agreement, it is an agreement with our customers that any changes in terms or upgrade with the card will be notified to customers well in advance so that you are well aware of the change.
You
01:25 PM
I know what you're thinking Reginald, "Well, this case is an exception, this could never happen to anyone else." Am I right?
You
01:25 PM
Yes, I have terms in my safe, it's the language I'm referring to Reginald
Rondo
01:26 PM
We appreciate your feedback. Please be assured that your comments will be forwarded to my manager to ensure that it is passed on to the appropriate parties.
You
01:27 PM
Listen, I'm not trying to be harsh here ... I just have a few more things and then I have a back and bicep workout scheduled
You
01:28 PM
All I'm saying is this: Maybe telling people the information they requested is enclosed is misleading when they never actually requested anything
Rondo
01:28 PM
Jared, we highly appreciate your time for providing us with your feedback. We always appreciate hearing from our customers about the services that we provide.
You
01:29 PM
I know successful banks care deeply about their customer and would NEVER want to mislead them
You
01:29 PM
So here is my suggestion. You can pass this along to your managers if you'd like, Reginald.
You
01:29 PM
Are you there, my friends?
You
01:29 PM
friend
Rondo
01:30 PM
Yes, I am waiting for your response.
You
01:31 PM
Instead of writing "The Information you request is enclosed," perhaps you can instead write "The information we really want you to see is enclosed" What do you think?
You
01:31 PM
A small but significant difference, don't you agree, Reginald?
Rondo
01:32 PM
I have took your comment and noted on your account so that this will be considered by my superiors.
Rondo
01:33 PM
Do you have any other questions for me today regarding your account, Jared?
You
01:33 PM
You have been very helpful, Reginald! Please tell them to let me know their thoughts. Also, I'd be happy to let your supervisors know how stellar your service has been
You
01:34 PM
How can I do that, Reginald?
Rondo
01:34 PM
It is my pleasure assisting you today with all your questions.

The resolution


You
01:35 PM
Well, if there's any way I can pass along my pleasure with your service, please let me know. Finally, one last thing:
Rondo
01:35 PM
You can send the feedback after you end this chat which will help us to serve you and improve the customer support. 
You
01:36 PM
I shall do just that! Now can you do one last thing for me?
Rondo
01:37 PM
Please go ahead.
You
01:37 PM
Can you end this conversation with the phrase, "Til next time, kid, just keep swinging -- eventually you'll hit something."
You
01:38 PM
?
Rondo
01:38 PM
If you need any assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Rondo
01:38 PM
We appreciate your business and look forward to continuing to serve your financial needs.
Rondo
01:38 PM
It has been my pleasure assisting you. Happy Merry Christmas!
Rondo
01:38 PM
My goal today was to provide you with outstanding customer service. I hope I was able to meet that goal for you. If you'd like to provide feedback about your experience with us today, please click here to end the chat and answer a few quick questions.
You
01:38 PM
And ...
You
01:40 PM
You still there, Reginald?
Rondo
01:40 PM
Yes.
Rondo
01:40 PM
I noticed we are still connected. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
You
01:41 PM
Yes, Can you end this conversation with the phrase, "Til next time, kid, just keep swinging -- eventually you'll hit something"?
You
01:41 PM
It's an OCD thing
You
01:42 PM
Reginald, I can't tell if that last part was received?
Rondo
01:43 PM
I will be right with you.
Rondo
01:44 PM
One moment please. 
You
01:45 PM
A moment's just a note in the song of life.
You
01:45 PM
I'll wait
Rondo
01:46 PM
Thank you for your patience.
You
01:46 PM
No, thank you!
You
01:47 PM
So shall we end this now?
Rondo
01:48 PM
Sure. Also I do not have an option to type the above statement you had requested as per the chat etiquette on this professional chat. So I will be sending my standard closing statement. 
Rondo
01:48 PM
I regret for the inconvenience. 
Rondo
01:48 PM
My goal today was to provide you with outstanding customer service. I hope I was able to meet that goal for you. If you'd like to provide feedback about your experience with us today, please click here to end the chat and answer a few quick questions.
You
01:49 PM
Can you at least say, Is has been my pleasure assisting you today, Vito?
Rondo
01:50 PM
Is has been my pleasure assisting you today.
You
01:50 PM
Vito, can you add the Vito, part?
You
01:51 PM
As in, "It (not is) has been my pleasure assisting you today, Vito."
You
01:51 PM
Does that breach the etiquette policy?
Rondo
01:52 PM
Is has been my pleasure assisting you today, Vito.
You
01:52 PM
Sorry, Roid Rage is creeping up on me here.
You
01:52 PM
Thanks, Reginald. You provided great customer service -- and you were one hell of a grandfather
You
01:53 PM
See ya on the other side
Rondo
01:53 PM
Thank you and take care. 

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